Everybody has a darkish aspect, proper? All of us have moments the place we’re not at our greatest because of stress, exhaustion, or immaturity. However what occurs once we’re at our absolute worst? At the moment that’s what we’re going to discover. Every of the 9 Enneagram sorts can descend into unhealthy habits when they’re utilizing unhealthy coping mechanisms and going to excessive lengths to keep away from their core concern. At the moment we’re going to have a look at how these sorts present up at their worst and provides some pointers for shifting previous this stage.
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The Darkish Facet of Every Enneagram Kind
Enneagram Ones have a driving need to be good and to have integrity. These are sorts that may push themselves to the brink of exhaustion merely to do what they consider is correct. At their finest, they’re smart, beneficiant, and uplifting. Tolerance is a trademark trait of the wholesome One. They know that no person is ideal, however they convey out the very best in individuals just by being current. Their pure integrity conjures up others to reside with extra intention and function.
The Enneagram One Darkish Facet:
When Ones are unhealthy or immature they’ll present a darkish aspect that’s removed from the noble, wise aspect that reveals up when they’re wholesome. Unhealthy Ones concern that they’re realizing their worst concern: that they’re certainly changing into corrupted or “evil.” They attempt to management their impulses, justify themselves, or rid themselves of anybody or something who makes them conscious of their corruption. Their internal turmoil reveals up in an obsessive, controlling nature. If they’ll management every little thing outdoors themselves then maybe they’ll idiot themselves into believing they’re actually okay.
Unhealthy Ones are illiberal to others and closed-minded to anybody who reveals a unique worth system from their very own. Black-and-white, absolutist considering is a trademark of the unhealthy One. They’ll by no means be unsuitable, even when given objectively verifiable details. Once you’re round these Ones you are feeling like you might be strolling on eggshells for concern of triggering their condemnation. Just like the priest in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, these Ones are fast to evaluate and condemn what’s completely different from themselves whereas secretly harboring ideas which can be removed from pure or righteous.
The unhealthy One is a deeply conflicted and tormented particular person. They wrestle with obsessive ideas which can be corrupt or evil. The extra they attempt to silence these ideas, the extra they appear to flare up uncontrollably. The extra they repress their emotions and impulses, the more severe they turn out to be twisted and distorted. Because of this, Ones expend great vitality merely making an attempt to place a lid on these ideas; to give attention to one thing else. They might obsessively clear, management their meals consumption, finances their cash, or in any other case attempt to arrange and handle their surroundings to allow them to really feel a component of management.
The Enneagram One darkish aspect is usually a highly effective and overwhelming pressure, however with the proper help this Enneatype can study to seek out stability and peace of thoughts. Via understanding their want for perfection, their concern of being seen as corrupt, and their internal battle between these two contradictory forces, they’ll uncover the noble and smart Enneagram One inside. Should you really feel like you might be at this sort of a darkish and unhealthy place, I’d suggest speaking to a psychological well being skilled who can assist you type out the roots of those points. Should you’d like to seek out extra suggestions for regaining equilibrium, you’ll be able to scroll to the underside of my article on the struggles of the Enneagram One to seek out some suggestions.
Enneagram Twos have a driving need to be beloved for who they honestly are. Deep down, they’re afraid that no matter they do won’t ever be sufficient to actually deserve and acquire love; that they’re unworthy of being beloved. At their finest, Twos love unconditionally with out anticipating something in return. Their pleasure and generosity spark emotions of heat and acceptance in these round them. They’ve the capability to be deeply compassionate and understanding, typically selflessly placing others first.
The Enneagram Two Darkish Facet:
When Twos are unhealthy or immature they’ll present a darkish aspect that’s removed from the loving, beneficiant aspect that reveals up when they’re wholesome. Unhealthy Twos give with a purpose to get. They attempt to acquire love by way of manipulation reasonably than by way of authentically beneficiant acts. This Two is a grasp within the artwork of the “guilt journey”; doing small favors for others, then appearing shocked and harm when others don’t present ample appreciation.
“They’ll play others like an orchestra, upping the extent of guilt right into a disturbing crescendo or dampening it right down to a whisper, as wanted. They play individuals in opposition to one another, and worse, they’re able to play others in opposition to themselves…by casting others into self-doubt and making them really feel responsible and confused, unhealthy Twos throw others off the scent of their very own manipulations.” – Don Richard Riso with Russ Hudson, Persona Sorts: Utilizing the Enneagram for Self-Discovery
Enneagram Twos turn out to be overly depending on others and search to regulate these round them, convincing themselves that they do no matter they do out of affection and care. Unhealthy Enneagram Twos could also be susceptible to drama and disaster, seeing their very own issues as the one actual ones on the earth. They’re specialists at making themselves the focal point whereas taking part in the position of martyr with a purpose to acquire love. Usually they really feel victimized by others; taken benefit of or used. And, the truth is, they could have been taken benefit of by others, significantly of their pasts. However the unhealthy Two is fast to see themselves the sufferer when others merely aren’t offering sufficient “love” to fill the bottomless gap of longing they’ve within them. These Twos really feel entitled to the love and subservience of others, as a result of they really feel that they’ve earned it by way of “selfless” acts. This Two could not have even finished a lot to assist another person, however at their core they really feel a proper to be taken care of, and count on others to do the heavy lifting.
Twos don’t begin off on this unhealthy state, nonetheless. Normally they arrive right here by being harm and brought benefit of, significantly in childhood, to some extent the place they now not know what actual love is they usually’re uninterested in giving to others, as a result of it hasn’t labored out so effectively for them previously.
Whereas the Enneagram Two darkish aspect could also be laborious to have a look at, it doesn’t imply that every one Enneagram Twos are doomed to reside in a state of unhealthy darkness. In actual fact, with consciousness and trustworthy reflection, Enneagram Twos can start to see the patterns of their habits that now not serve them, in addition to any false core perception techniques they could have adopted. From there, Enneagram Twos can start a course of of non-public development and transformation that allows them to seek out real love for themselves and others. With the proper help, Enneagram Twos can rediscover their spark of generosity and compassion, which is able to enable them to expertise actual love that’s unconditional and true.
I’d encourage anybody who pertains to this description of the Enneagram Two to hunt out help within the type of psychological well being professionals or private development coaches. Via the assistance of others, Enneagram Twos can study to inform the distinction between wholesome giving pushed by real love and unhealthy giving pushed by a necessity for approval.
Should you really feel that you’re headed into an unhealthy place, you may also try my article concerning the 7 struggles of the Enneagram Two. There are suggestions in that article for getting again to a optimistic state of mind.
At their finest, Threes are real and motivating. They’re pushed by a need to enhance the world and persist in far-reaching targets. Diligent and pleasant, they make nice leaders and they’re typically the go-to particular person relating to getting issues finished. The Three’s core need is to be priceless and worthwhile, however their core concern is that they’re nugatory and shall be rejected.
The Enneagram Three Darkish Facet:
As Threes descend into their darkish aspect, they cease trying just like the benevolent, motivating Threes we talked about within the first paragraph. They turn out to be opportunistic, manipulative, and misleading. Inside they really feel desolate and empty as a result of they’re so out of contact with their emotions and values that they’ll solely discover a “repair” in others’ admiration of them. Any vulnerability or internal wounding they may conceal with a masks of false confidence and coolness.
The unhealthy Three is indifferent from their core; they don’t even know who they’re anymore. As an alternative, they may do no matter it takes to persuade others that they’re distinctive. However as a substitute of incomes others’ admiration they distort the reality, reduce corners, lie, and even take credit score for others’ work. These Threes will do almost something to seem like successes to others, even when these very issues harm themselves and push them additional into a spot of disconnection and vacancy. This opportunism and dishonesty creates a simultaneous concern that they are going to be “discovered.” Then they may understand their greatest concern; that they’re, certainly, nugatory and rejected. So long as they’ll preserve the facade going, they really feel that they’ll keep away from that concern as a result of others will see them as worthwhile because of their competency. They turn out to be compulsive about mendacity, as a result of they so need to make an impression and to seem excellent. As their internal world turns into extra tormented and afraid, they push to seem calm and competent and charming on the skin. At their very worst, they could benefit from the downfall of others merely to allow them to really feel superior compared.
Like all of the Enneatypes, unhealthy Threes don’t usually begin out unhealthy. They typically start down this darkish path in childhood, once they really feel a must be particular and distinctive with a purpose to acquire love and approval from dad and mom or caregivers who could also be emotionally absent or laborious to please. Enneagram Threes turn out to be so used to making an attempt to please and make an impression that they overlook their true selves within the course of.
The excellent news is Enneagram Threes have great potential for private development if they’ll acknowledge their unhealthy patterns, which regularly come from core insecurity and emotional disconnection. Via private development, Enneagram Threes can convey extra authenticity again into their lives, be extra related with their very own emotions and values, and study that they’re worthwhile even with out grandiose ranges of success. I’d encourage Enneagram Threes to hunt out help within the type of psychological well being professionals to allow them to start the journey of uncovering their true self and discovering internal peace and calm reasonably than vacancy and disgrace. Serving to out of their communities can be an efficient path in direction of therapeutic. Many Threes discover renewed readability once they help a trigger that issues to them or discover a group the place they’ll work in direction of one thing that advantages others.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram Three: The Enneagram 3 Youngster
At their finest, Enneagram Fours embrace life with an impressed, trustworthy, and intuitive spirit. They’re inventive, delicate, and passionate and are deeply in contact with the human situation. Contentment is a key trait of the wholesome 4, they usually discover pleasure in partaking with the world round them whereas nonetheless sustaining their very own internal sense of self.
The core need of the 4 is to seek out themselves and their significance, whereas their core concern is that they don’t have any identification or private significance.
The Enneagram 4 Darkish Facet:
As Fours descend into darkness, they turn out to be overwhelmed with the sensation that they’ve misplaced each alternative to seek out themselves and their very own significance. They turn out to be overwhelmed by misplaced alternatives and their very own perceived failures. Not solely are they affected by a way of grief over what they haven’t completed, they’re crammed with a way of desperation that they by no means will accomplish something significant. Thus, they attempt to reduce off their wishes. They don’t need to harm anymore, so in the event that they don’t need something, they consider they’ll defend themselves from ache. What outcomes is that every one the life and emotional depth drains out of them they usually really feel fatigued, apathetic, and alienated from everybody round them and even themselves.
The unhealthy 4 typically believes that their issues are worse than everybody else’s and that others have all allow them to down. As a result of they crave uniqueness, at an unhealthy degree, they discover that sense of uniqueness within the depth of their struggling. Their disappointment in themselves intensifies they usually start to hate themselves and see solely their worst internal qualities. They consider they’re unworthy of affection from anybody and turn out to be obsessive about morbid fantasies. In the end, they really feel rightly rejected by everybody and satisfied that they’re totally and completely faulty.
The excellent news is Enneagram Fours have great potential for private development and success. It’s extraordinarily troublesome for an unhealthy 4 to see this potential in themselves, but when they’ll take step one and search help from a therapist, life coach, or trusted information, they’ll start to grasp that deep down they’re nonetheless worthwhile, worthy, and have unimaginable potential. I’d additionally urge any 4 who’s studying this text to take time to suppose by way of your core values. What issues to you in life? What ethics do you maintain quick to? Discover a couple of issues you are able to do every day to bolster these values. Whether or not meaning volunteering for a trigger or creating some easy artwork round these values, discover a option to get in contact with the issues that matter to you on a soul degree.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram 4: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Persona Kind
At their finest, Enneagram Fives are visionary thinkers who stability curiosity with playfulness. They like to study, however even moreso, they like to invent and create in the actual world. Their open-minded, exploratory lifestyle provides others an analogous need to study and experiment.
The core need of the 5 is to be succesful and competent, and the core concern of the 5 is that they’re helpless or incapable.
The Enneagram 5 Darkish Facet:
Enneagram Fives of their darkish aspect are affected by doubt and disgust not solely on the world outdoors, however themselves. They really feel that they may inevitably fail at something they try to do on the earth and that they may by no means discover a place to slot in in society. Fairly than making an attempt to experiment with concepts and create one thing, they as a substitute give attention to invalidating others’ concepts. They acquire pleasure from discrediting others, poking enjoyable on the foolishness of the world, and rejecting what others consider. Any attachment to others feels threatening, so Fives at this degree justify their reclusiveness by dropping all religion in humanity or its worth.
Sadly, as Fives retreat additional and additional into the darkness of their very own isolation, they turn out to be increasingly petrified of the world outdoors. They really feel incapable of coping and subsequently rid themselves of something that might pressure engagement or connection to something exterior. Perhaps they reside in a small room, consuming little or no, working as little as doable to satisfy the naked minimal of their bills. They’re affected by nervousness and turn out to be disconnected from their our bodies; they really feel as if they’re merely concepts and ideas related to dangling limbs. Many Fives at this degree expertise insomnia as a result of they’re so riddled with fears that some unseen pressure will harm them whereas they sleep. They aren’t simply afraid of the world outdoors, they’re afraid of their very own ideas which turn out to be more and more morbid. Horrific fantasies and concepts play earlier than their minds’ eye in an infinite stream they usually really feel helpless to cease it. To compound issues, they resist any assist from others and reduce themselves off increasingly from exterior sources of help.
This can be very troublesome for Fives at this degree to succeed in out to others for help, however that is precisely what they need to do. Enneagram Fives have great potential to be joyful and unique, however solely when they’re firmly grounded in what’s actual. Getting skilled assist, getting in contact with nature, and exploring inventive retailers could be nice methods for Enneagram Fives to begin shifting out of the darkness and again into their potential. It will possibly really feel scary and uncomfortable at first, however it’s important. Fives can begin easy, by taking quiet walks in nature or sending a textual content to a trusted buddy. Even a couple of small steps every day will make a distinction. Fives ought to attempt to get into their our bodies, stretching, meditating, or understanding. They need to push themselves to attach with outdoors help in the event that they’re at this unhealthy degree. A counselor who specializing in coping with nervousness and melancholy is usually a great useful resource.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram 5: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 5 Persona Kind
At their finest, Sixes are brave and grounded. They worth loyalty, camaraderie, and compassion for individuals who are handled unfairly on the earth. They take it upon themselves to guard their households and pals from hazard, and are identified to be reliable and pragmatic.
The core concern of the Six is that they’re unable to outlive on their very own or that they’re with out help. The core need of the Six is to seek out safety, help, and belonging.
The Enneagram Six Darkish Facet:
When Sixes start to enter their darkish aspect, they develop more and more skeptical of others. They really feel affected by doubt that others will betray them. Some Sixes react by testing others, changing into belligerent and passive-aggressive. Others are extra overtly confrontational; defiantly lashing out at individuals they concern will double-cross them. As these assaults and checks on others multiply, they’ve moments of extreme nervousness that they’re turning away all their supporters. Their core concern, to be alone and with out help, appears to be coming true. They drown in self-disparagement and really feel overwhelmed by insecurity. As their nervousness will increase, they maintain ever tightly to the supporters they nonetheless have of their lives. They turn out to be clingingly dependent and panicky, terrified that their final threads of help will break.
As this panic and concern escalates, Sixes consider that every little thing is a disaster. Their nervousness feels increasingly uncontrolled, they usually turn out to be more and more paranoid. Projection is a each day downside; and Sixes at this degree will venture all their darkest fears onto others they usually really feel sure that others are out to get them, betray them, or harm them in a roundabout way. This paranoia and concern escalates into rage, and the Six worries that every one their emotions of hate and anger are literally emotions others are harboring in direction of them. They really feel a ceaseless urge to guard themselves from all of the assaults they’re certain others are about to ship their approach.
The Enneagram Six wants to succeed in out for help and take decisive motion to interrupt freed from their downward spiral. Reaching out to a counselor or therapist who focuses on Enneagram character sorts or nervousness could be tremendously helpful. Discovering methods to turn out to be extra grounded can be essential. Taking time to apply deep respiratory, meditation, and prayer can assist Enneagram Sixes to turn out to be extra centered and conscious of what’s actual. Writing in a journal, studying self-help books, or speaking with trusted pals are additionally nice strategies for gaining stability, readability, and perspective.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sixes: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Six Persona Kind
At their finest, Sevens have a contentment and appreciation with life that many envy. They’re energetic and enthusiastic optimists who worth positivity and search to seek out the nice in all issues. Sevens convey pleasure, humor, and fervour wherever they go.
The core need of the Seven is to be happy and content material. The core concern of the Seven is to be trapped or to be in ache or deprivation.
The Enneagram Seven Darkish Facet:
When Enneagram Sevens start to maneuver into their darkish aspect, they turn out to be caught in a cycle of craving experiences that can by no means convey them true satisfaction. The act of buying a brand new issues or expertise shortly turns into an habit, and Enneagram Sevens frantically race to accumulate the following smartest thing with a purpose to fulfill their core need for contentment.
Sevens at this degree turn out to be obsessive about searching for pleasure and avoiding ache. They keep in movement, consistently appearing on impulse, hoping that in the event that they keep busy they’ll keep away from their very own unhappiness and internal ache. Being alone amplifies their nervousness, in order that they stress others to do no matter exercise they’re concerned in. Sadly, at this degree many Sevens take pleasure in less-than-healthy pursuits like binge ingesting or extreme partying in pursuit of momentary pleasure.
Sevens at this darkish degree are sometimes extremely reactive and present little to no management of their emotional impulses. They act out, throw issues, burst into tears, insult individuals, throw punches. So as to rid themselves of no matter disturbing feeling is plaguing them, they act out on no matter they really feel. These Sevens are removed from the joyous, impressed Sevens at a wholesome degree. They’re emotionally immature, depressed, and manic.
As with all the kinds, an important factor at this degree is to hunt skilled assist in the type of a counselor or help group. Enneagram Sevens also needs to discover methods to apply mindfulness with a purpose to acquire readability. Meditation, prayer, yoga, journaling, or every other exercise that helps them settle down is essential. Taking time to study one thing new or learn a e-book can be immensely helpful for Enneagram Sevens in want of some perspective.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sevens: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Seven
At their finest, Eights are protecting and compassionate individuals who encourage braveness in others. Whereas they’ve sturdy, assertive personalities, they aren’t impulsive and reckless. They problem themselves to be honorable and test their motives in all they do.
The core need of the Enneagram Eight is to guard themselves and have management of their very own life and future. The core concern of this sort is to be harmed or managed by others.
The Enneagram Eight Darkish Facet:
When Enneagram Eights transfer into their darkish aspect, they turn out to be domineering and forceful. They turn out to be obsessive about having energy, and don’t thoughts intimidating or manipulating others with a purpose to acquire it. They provoke and confront individuals, believing that persons are out to control or management them. Due to their harsh, ruthless nature, they have a tendency to collect enemies wherever they go. They consider it’s a dog-eat-dog world, they usually need to be the highest canine who doesn’t rely upon anybody. May is every little thing, and weak spot is despised.
Eights at this degree are sometimes consumed with a must be proper. They don’t perceive that compromise is important in relationships, they usually understand it as an indication of non-public weak spot. Any restrictions or guidelines are supposed to be defied, though they don’t thoughts implementing guidelines on others and tyrannically telling individuals what to do. Sadly, these Eights are sometimes lonely and disliked. As a result of they see indicators of friendliness or gentleness as weak spot, they push away individuals who might nurture and help them. In addition they keep away from being susceptible and open with others, believing they are going to be betrayed or taken benefit of.
Getting assist at this stage appears almost unimaginable for the unhealthy Eight. As with all of the Enneatypes, when they’re this unhealthy, they typically really feel that their weaknesses are requirements for survival. Speaking to a counselor or opening as much as pals feels particularly ridiculous to the unhealthy Eight, as a result of they don’t belief anybody they usually hate the thought of being susceptible. Nonetheless, in case you’re an Eight and also you acknowledge these unhealthy traits in your self, I’d urge you to take steps in direction of therapeutic. Notice that your highly effective character was meant for use to enhance the world, to not dominate it. Search skilled assist or be part of a help group to discover ways to channel your energy in wholesome, constructive methods. Notice that you simply deserve friendships and trustworthy relationships with individuals; even when there are some dangers concerned. No danger, no reward, proper? Discover one small factor you are able to do for another person day by day, whether or not that be a easy praise or serving to somebody with a sensible job. At your finest, you might have a magnanimous, highly effective character that may drastically enhance the lives of others (and your self).
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Eights: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram Eight Kind
At their finest, Enneagram Nines are peaceable, supportive individuals who embrace life with a gentle sense of function. They care deeply about their family members and attempt to create concord in relationships. Enneagram Nines additionally possess an internal serenity and depth of creativeness that enables them to achieve insights that may assist enhance the world.
The core need of Enneagram Nines is to really feel safe and have peace of thoughts. The core concern of this sort is loss or separation.
The Enneagram 9 Darkish Facet
As Nines descend into darkness, they turn out to be increasingly indifferent from themselves and the world round them. Caught in denial, they refuse to face conflicts or issues and reside inside their very own illusions. These Nines refuse to do something they don’t need to do, however in addition they don’t know what they need. They block individuals out, ignoring their obligations, relationships, and kids (if they’ve them). Often they may erupt into bouts of rage, however they may shortly settle down, pretending that nothing occurred.
At this degree of well being, Enneagram Nines turn out to be addicted to flee and keep away from something that might pressure them to take care of actuality. Usually they really feel depressed, confused, and depending on individuals who have extra controlling tendencies. Neglect is a key trait of this sort; if they’re dad and mom, they may overlook to take their youngsters and shall be oblivious to their emotional wants. However their neglectfulness extends to themselves as effectively. They might miss physician’s appointments, skip work, or overlook to select their youngsters up from faculty. It’s as if this sort is in a fog they’ll’t get out of. Changing into conscious of all of the methods they’ve failed others would solely make them really feel worse, in order that they proceed in dissociation. Usually they really feel like life is sort of a dangerous dream and they’re helpless to interrupt out of it, as a result of actuality is just too painful to take care of.
Getting assist is feasible however troublesome for Enneagram Nines at this unhealthy degree, since they’re so comfy repressing their true emotions and wishes. Nonetheless, the Enneagram 9 can take some steps to begin the therapeutic course of. Begin by recognizing that your feelings exist and you’ve got a proper to really feel them – whether or not it’s disappointment, anger, or unhappiness. Begin to turn out to be conscious of the methods your habits has harm different individuals and make amends. Discover inventive retailers – categorical your self by way of music, artwork, writing, or something that brings you pleasure. Lastly, hunt down counseling or remedy if it’s obtainable to you. As soon as Enneagram Nines start their therapeutic journey, they’ll reconnect with themselves and the world round them in a strong approach.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Nines: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram 9 Kind.
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